Monday, July 14, 2008

It still hurts.


It happens every time I go on the fucking site... GOD DAMN IT!

It is the exact reason I have avoided going to mySpace since January. I had given it up. However, there is a little app for the iPhone that allows you to easily keep up with myspace in just a few clicks. At first I promised I wouldn't go to the site... then I installed the app and promised I wouldn't look, then I looked and it happened again. I HATE IT!.

Its not even anything specific that gets me upset... but just the act of looking sets me off. I don't know why I do it... but I've done it again, and some how it still fucks me up every time I do it. :(

*sigh*

I hesitate to even mention anything, because it seems like such a minor thing, but I figure if I can't vent on my own blog then where can I vent?

By all accounts today was a great day! Then this one thing happens and its like none of that matters. The fact that I'm happier then I have been in a long time (maybe ever). That I have lots of really wonderful things going on in my life, the fact that I'm doing good things with my life and I love who I am... all out the window because of some bullshit on myspace.

UGH! It really pisses me off. Then I think about "why is it pissing you off so much" and that inevitably ends in a spiral of self hate...

Fuck IT! I'm going to watch my favorite movie and self medicate for a while...

This is bullshit and I need to figure out how to stop it!